Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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