in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize