If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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