Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
