hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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