Small penises have feelings too.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
