Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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