I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
