We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
