He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
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