So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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