It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
