the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
