Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
