paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Boobs speak an international language.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
