i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
