The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
