Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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