somebody snuck up and got me drunk
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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