you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Your penis caused this!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
