He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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