I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize