I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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