Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
