is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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