I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
