so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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