This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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