Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
