he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
