My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
