exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
