Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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