Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
