I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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