I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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