its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
