I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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