Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Im part way to drunk.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
