this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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