I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
