Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
