Got a toothbrush?
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Randomize
