I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
