We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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