yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
