It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
