I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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