I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Randomize
