Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
