I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
