PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
