I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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