Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
