he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I need to stop coming to work sober
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Everclear isn't food dammit
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize