My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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