Got a toothbrush?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize