How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
