Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
