dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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