Kiss
Puke
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We are all done wearing pants today
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
