dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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